I’m actually not sure if any of you feel this way too, but sometimes I don’t speak very kindly to myself. If I were to tell someone else the exact things that I say to myself they would be straight up MEAN. Why would we self sabotage ourselves so aggressively with that inner dialogue if we would never say it to someone else because we know how badly it would hurt their feelings? No, you’re not tough enough to take it from yourself. That negative talk will snowball effect and leave you unhappy. You will slowly become less confident and less confident.
That inner-dialogue can be so uncontrollable sometimes, I get it. I’ll get on a roll of negative comments and have to snap out of it. It is easy to get off track when you look in the mirror and constantly compare your current state to where you’d like to be, or even where you used to be. Guess what, we are SO analytical of ourselves on such a micro level, that no one else would even notice those subtleties. So why do they even matter!? Heck, this off season there were a few times that I said to myself, “maybe I will just avoid looking in the mirror until training starts back up again in a few months.” Let’s all take a moment to laugh at that. First off, we should avoid the scenario we should retrain the brain to think positively about ourselves.
The reality is, YOU LOOK AMAZING.
Please stop yourself, and stop your negative inner-dialogue. Don’t try to convince yourself that you need to really really work on fixing your body or parts of your personality. This is a scary, doubt-ridden, dark path of dissatisfaction.
You are beautifully made.
I have to be honest, this post is going to be quite the turn around for me also because I’ve been doubting myself, and down talking my confidence in every aspect of me: physically, psychologically, emotionally, and intellectually. I’ll be following my own advice to bring myself back to my better habits. It doesn’t matter who we are, what we look like or what we are blessed with, we all struggle with some of the same things.
First step is to recognize WHEN you usually talk poorly to yourself. Is it in the morning when you look in the mirror, or when you shower? Is it when you do your make up in the car? Do you compare yourself to the people around you at work or the gym? OR do you scroll through your social media wishing you looked like someone!? There are probably a few times during the day that you could catch yourself being not so kind to YOU.
Second step is to re-frame your comments. This takes an awareness, and a commitment that can really challenge your self confidence.
Every time you catch yourself saying something AGAINST YOU, stop immediately say, “CANCEL CANCEL CANCEL” and then continue with a positive phrase that is FOR YOU: “I am capable of ___________” or “I love __________ about my body.”
Self confidence in any area of our lives whether we speak down to our physical body or our intellectual self, is a challenge that everyone has faced at some point.
It’s conquerable. I’m happy to be able to deliver that message to you. But true change has to be welcomed and appropriate in order for it to stick and integrate fully.
There have been periods of times in my life where it felt right to be negative towards myself, because I really wasn’t living up to my standards. In this case it was a good thing and I decided to BUILD my confidence with hard work from there.
If you need a pep talk, I can do that for you too. But don’t get caught up in compliments, true confidence comes from within.